Struggle to find love

Why many people struggle to find love in dating websites?

Yes, there are people who found love successfully in dating websites and this article is probably not what they want to read. But still, there are many who struggle to do that. The reasons for that can be many – they may not have chosen the best photo, they may be shy or have lack of confidence or even have a bad description. Sometimes they see a person they like but doubt themselves if they are good enough, or if they have the right approach. Self esteem problems stops people to make the first move not only in the sphere of dating, but in many aspects in life.

The Problem

All this can be obstacle in the process of finding love, no matter if the process is live or online, but there is a bigger problem and most of the time IT’S NOT in your TV screen (meaning not within you)…

The name of the problem is Social Pressure and/or Social Acceptance. That’s the power that society norm and social values has over an individual. It varies in different parts of the world but has something in common – people very often follow the global trends and they are not always a good thing. It’s very common that they get in contrast with the perception of the local norms and values, but even so their influence is getting stronger and stronger with the constant development of the global technologies for mass communications.

Social Pressure
Social Pressure

The Reason

People nowadays find it easy to lock themselves in the virtual world and seek for attention, support and approval. Often times values planted from the global trends takes over the values from the real world and it becomes much more important that you are not falling behind with numbers like “Likes”, “Followers” and “Shares”. This brings the biggest frustration, because it provokes people to compare themselves with “the ones with the good looks” or “the ones with more expensive car… or bag” or even “most exotic place to relax and spend holidays”. People even compare the smile on the faces of their so called competitors, even though they may even not know each other in the real life. “Look, they are so happy!”, “They do this and that… why don’t we do the same thing… Why we are always so different”….

… this brings problems, that without the global influence platforms we wouldn’t have had.

The means for global trends to manifest are often visuals. It is simple, because it’s very easy to comprehend. All it needs is a glimpse of an eye and the magic is done.

The Result

People who don’t often fall in the most popular category gets rejected from the others that do. They start losing confidence and stop taking positive actions. We live in the era of the depressions, panic attacks and real-life antisociality. In the context of finding Love there are very few places online where the book will not be judged by its cover. People now swipe you to the right if they like you, or not, but what about the ones that do not fall in the “best photo” contest? Are they less beautiful or deserve less attention? Is their personality worse, because they don’t look like they just got out of some superstar’s make up room? We don’t think so… But that’s why they get rejected.

What happens in the popular dating websites?

Many features cost money and the free versions often comes with lots of limitations. Great place to find a person for one night. Sometime people find someone that they have an actually meaningful conversation and have a relationship with, but for the most part “the looks” wins. Many don’t have the opportunity to get to that state of positive realization of the relationship status, just because they are judged by the “cover”. Most of the time women get nude pictures from and men have their normal attempts to start a conversation lost like a message in a bottle. Women often don’t reply to just “Hi” and the list goes on and on.

The Solution

That’s why we created, where we offer to people a FREE platform to use to post their thoughts first in the form of pre-decided lists of questions, that we call “Love Lexicons” and not giving the opportunity to find/filter people by their looks. MyLoveLex Forum is not just a forum, where you can discuss different topics and publish your love lexicons. It is a Mini Social network of people who share the same way of thinking that the book should not be judged by it’s cover, and it’s much more important to have a common topics for conversation and shared interests then just to look like a model. You can take part of the activities in the forum and invite friends, send private messages and find new people in a different way and it’s completely FREE of charge.

If you liked this article and the idea of the Love Lexicons, feel free to share and join the community.

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