How to be happy alone? And how to regain joy in your life?

Have you ever been in a relationship that made you suffer?

Have you ever been alone and felt great?

What makes the connection between these two? Isn’t it just expectations, or wishes, or jealousy, disappointment or loss of self-confidence?

The problem

Being alone or not is not what makes you happy. In fact there are a reasonable amount of benefits of being a loner. What gives you value and feeling of fulfillment is what makes you happy. That’s why you can feel bad and unhappy when you are in relationship or have partner in life. You were happy because for a brief moment in time you found someone that you thought can share your values, wishes or ambitions. Once you discover it’s not the case you began to feel disappointed and alone again, even though you were in relationship. The state itself is not what made you happy in the first place (even though you might think it is). That’s why you should not connect happiness and having a relationship necessarily.

The reason

Meaningful, long lasting and happy relationship requires many common points between two persons, even though some might say “The differences attract each other”. Try to live with someone, who doesn’t respect the hobbies, interests, points of view, values or even religion you have. Wish you good luck with that. That’s why you have TO BE happy with yourself and love yourself before wanting someone to do that for you.

Then…

How to be happy alone? And how to regain joy in your life?

The Solution

Give yourself a break, you deserve it. Try to do different things you didn’t before. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, you should not expect something different to happen. Allow yourself to get in situations that will give you opportunities. Start practicing your hobby, connect with people with the idea to share interests, emotions, stories and experiences – even if they are the bad memories from a previous relationship and disappointments from it . Join a course to learn something new, join communities. This way you position yourself in a place where you will be surrounded by people sharing your passions, thoughts, attitude and it will be easy in the future to spot the one that likes you and have feelings for you on top of everything else that you already share. These values, interests are “the glue”, that will keep you together. If you just spend time with someone just because you like it’s appearance you will find very soon that this is just like the first taste of a chocolate. You take it, like it and then what … After some time you will want some real food, no matter how delicious the chocolate can be.

You may also find interesting to read:

1. Is it bad to be a loner? 7 Risks and benefits!
2. 12 Best online communities for lonely people!
3. What causes the fear of commitment? The Origins of the commitment issues.

Our community is a place you can try. Share your pain, ideas, inspirations, questions and frustrations. Allow yourself to be surprised by the way it works.

If you like this article and want to add something, agree or disagree – feel free to join the discussion in our forum.