Numbness is the state of being overwhelmed by too many feelings, not the lack of feelings. If you choose to silence one emotion, you also silence the others. You muffle the pain and the happiness. In this instance, we are living in a state where we are unable to experience the whole range of human emotions.
What is the name of that state? It’s been called “emotional death” by some. It is possible to be alive but not to live.
How to know how alive or how dead we are? How to know if the people around you are good for you or they are hurting you psychologically?
Are there a few things that we can ask ourselves?
Many experts believe that this is due to a lack of vigor. “Life is right in there,” in the sense of vitality.
Do you get excited when you get up in the morning? Is there any significance to what you’re doing? Do you have a sense of connection to how you spend your days? Are you going to look back at the end of your life and say, “What did I do that was meaningful?” Do you pay attention or can you state that you only consider it when you’re in a crisis?
Are you stuck, and if so, what could be the cause?
Do you believe you’ve been locked in a relationship that isn’t appropriate for you for years?
Do you believe that makes you sad? Even if it isn’t a relationship, it could be a job you despise or feel isn’t appropriate for you.
The explanation could be found in the so-called “uncertainty feeling.”
Change is difficult for us because we cling to what we know. So, even though we know that this or that can help us or that this is a terrific opportunity for us, we don’t do it since it is new to us.
If you grew up in a chaotic environment, feeling depressed or anxious all of the time, this is your home. Even if it is unappealing or even depressing. This background can inspire you to duplicate it in the future.
All of this resembles a prisoner rattling the bars of a cell in front of him, eager to get out, yet the doors to his right and left are open. The prisoner is not physically present in the jail, but just in his imagination.
That is the case for many of us. We are not incarcerated or in prison. We may simply walk around the bars. Why don’t we try it? Probably because freedom comes with responsibility, and being accountable for our own lives can be frightening. We begin to doubt ourselves, thinking things like “I’m not sure if I can do that” or “Now, I’m the one to blame if things don’t go as planned; I can’t put it on everyone else.”
Why it is so hard to take responsibility for our happiness?
Even as an adult, if one grew up in a home where he is not welcomed or appreciated, there is still a part of him that fights. There is still a part of us that wishes for a “do-over,” and we are usually unaware of it.
If we fall into this category, we frequently declare that when we grow up, we will find a companion who will nourish us and provide us with all of the things we lacked as children. But what we don’t recognize is that we have an unconscious radar for people who appear to be extremely different from their parents on the surface, but once we get to know them, we discover that “this looks similar”…
“We marry our unfinished business,” as the phrase goes, which is why it is critical that as adults, we take responsibility and work through this so that we can choose and surround ourselves with people who are beneficial for us.
You may also find it interesting to read:
- What causes the fear of commitment?
- Serious relationship in your 20s? Too late or too early?
- How to overcome relationship fears?
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